Artist Story: Joe Chiappetta

Joe Chiappetta, Silly Daddy, www.sillydaddy.net

The short answer is, very carefully. As a married father of three children and an artist, I can't say that I have always balanced home life and artistic activity properly. Consequently, the wife and kids get the short end of the stick. The cliché of "starving artist" should be amended with, "...brought to you by suffering family." I say this because too much art, including my own, has been made at the expense of quality time with my own flesh and blood.

Gratefully, after 17 years as a parent, I am careful not to repeat the mistakes of the past willingly. Such parenting follies are a recurring theme in my long running "Silly Daddy" Comics series, especially in the early years of the comic, started in 1991. Such episodes may be critically acclaimed entertainment to read about, but I have no desire to reenact life's hard-learned lessons. Balancing parenting with art making is actually a formula for failure if taken literally. It should never be a balance. The kids will always need to weigh in as considerably more important than art.

Practically speaking, how can I tell if my kids are playing second fiddle to my art? The truth of the matter can be settled with two simple life scenarios to ponder:

1) If I am giving more of my heart to my art than to my kids, then it is time to change.
2) If I find myself dreaming more about how to build my art career rather than how to build my kid's character, then it is time to change.

Before deciding where you rate, take a sober look at your life from your waking hours to your head hitting the pillow. Where is your focus in between? As a cartoonist posting new webcomics online every day at sillydaddy.net, the pressures of sticking to my daily publishing schedule can easily deceive me into thinking that the art is more important than the kids. The irony that my comics are often lighthearted stories about the kids does not escape me. If my comics are about having a fun life yet my family life doesn't reflect that joy, I am a hypocrite. Continually recalling the above two life scenarios helps me combat such priority deceptions and sets me on a healthy parenting path.

Keeping such concepts in mind are only first steps in making sure that your kids won't resent your art and later admit to how absent of a parent you were when the retrospective documentary is made of your career.

Furthermore, guess who will inherit your masterpieces if you don't make it big during your lifetime... those same kids. This is another, but less important reason to put them first now. When you're gone, they will most likely have the power to either toss your precious artwork in the trash bins, or choose to exhibit your work.

Here are 7 goals I strive for so that putting the kids before the art becomes not just a good idea, but a reality.

7 Goals to Put Kids Above Art:

1) Plan family outings every week: A family outing is anything you do with the family that is outside of your home, is not work related and not an errand. I even find that breaking out my sketchbook on family outings is usually not a good idea. It divides my attention and before I know it, everyone is "together," but doing their own thing. The teen has her iPod, the little ones are fighting and the wife has no one to talk to. That's certainly not going to win me any father of the year awards.

2) Keep your word to your kids: For example, if you say you will do something with them later, then make sure it happens.

3) Have a meal or other family activity together every day.

4) Look your kids in the eyes when they are talking to you: I know something is wrong with me when one of the kids is telling me something and I'm listening yet don't turn away from the artwork or computer to make eye contact. Danger! Danger Will Robinson!

5) Include your kids in the art production process when possible: In my "Silly Daddy" comic series, the whole family is involved. My wife colors many of the illustrations, my daughter often writes the supplemental text transcriptions for the website, my son sometimes colors and co-writes new material and my toddler... well for now, we still have to keep everything away from her. The whole family is also involved in the critiquing process, whether I like it or not. Their input is actually invaluable, as it is a sampling of three different demographics that the comic can gather feedback from: teens, grade-schoolers and adults.

6) Use the cheapest art supplies: Does it really matter that all your drawings for the past ten years are done on acid free heavy stock French paper while you can't afford to help your child pay for college? For artists worrying about the longevity of their art, put the longevity of your child first. If your art is worth preserving in one hundred years, let the art restoration experts figure that out.

This is not a comprehensive list, yet I must mention one more "must do" item for parents.

7) Tuck your children in... every night.

As you put these parenting best practices into action, you will find that your kids will not only have a good night, but also a great and memorable childhood.

Since 1991, Joe Chiappetta has been the cartoonist on "Silly Daddy," an award winning Chicago area comic about family life, popular culture and quirky/surreal themes. A Christian husband and father of three, Joe draws on these experiences to make "Silly Daddy" the indie "Family Circus" of today's generation. Visit www.sillydaddy.net