25: When Disputes Arise

Neighbors, tenants and landlords can be welcome acquaintances and friends, or they can become your worst nightmare. Whether they complain about the noise generated by your drumming sessions, or maintain smelly garbage in common hallways, conflicts may arise. Late rent, noisy neighbors, sloppy roommates or unfulfilled promises for repairs, maintenance or improvements can generate frustration, anger, despair and a nagging sense of disorder.

Mediation services can help resolve such issues before you feel forced to move, or they escalate into a legal situation. This chapter discusses the mediation process, and where to go for help when conflicts arise.

Conflict Resolution and Mediation
Most of life involves people and relationships: friends and lovers, roommates and neighbors, landlords and tenants, or business colleagues. Relationships are fragile. When misunderstandings and differences grow into disputes, and then escalate into conflicts, one or two things will happen:

1. The problem will be resolved; or
2. The conflict will continue.

If you cannot diffuse a conflict on your own, help in settling your differences might be valuable and welcome. Mediation is a voluntary process in which two or more disputing parties work with an impartial mediator to resolve the conflict. Unlike a judge or an arbitrator, whose decisions involve a winner and a loser, mediation is about finding a solution that works for all parties involved.

Before you take your dispute to court, consider mediation. Signs that mediation might be wise:

• The dispute has been ongoing.
• You want to preserve a relationship affected by the conflict.
• The dispute is affecting your daily life.
• You cannot afford the time and cost involved with litigation.
• You would like to speak to the other party so they will hear your concerns
• You would like to resolve the dispute yourself, without a third party and/or legal judgment.

Julia Langfelder and Ed Sacks of the Center for Conflict Resolution contributed to the content of this chapter.